Tag: Motherhood

Self-employed mum of two: the truth about working from home with kids

WHAT TO EXPECT | Balancing business, kids, burnout, and everything in between. I’m sharing what’s helped me navigate motherhood & self-employment, mistakes I made, what helped me cope & what I had to let go of.

You know you’ve grown as a person when you’re watching your kids mixing playdough colours and it doesn’t trigger you anymore. Or at least not as much. Am I right? With time, you learn to accept the little wins and just let go of the rest.

So now that Chloe (17 months) has started childcare, we’re entering – yet again – a whole new routine. That is, whenever she isn’t home sick with something (which happens more often than you’d think). Just this week – BAM – Chloe’s sick and my whole schedule crumbled. It’s fine (I mean what else can I do?), I’m used to it by now. These little unpleasant surprises just keep me on my toes.

If you read my blogs you know that I’m going to keep this real. No sugarcoating because who has time for that anyways? So no, it hasn’t been rainbows and unicorns working from home with a baby and a 5-year-old. Keeping up with my current retainers, projects and workload with Chloe at home was anything but easy. I wasn’t accepting any new projects and turning down new retainers for months because I couldn’t.

Between naps & deadlines

Maternity leave? What even is that? I was at my desk right up until Chloe’s birth, waddling around with a belly so big I had to swivel sideways to reach my keyboard. I guess, you can say that that’s one of the biggest drawbacks of being self-employed. I once had someone telling me that I have it easy because being my own boss, I could just stop working whenever I wanted, do whatever I wanted. I laughed.

If I stop working (setting aside the whole breaching-contracts thing for a moment and the fact that I have bills to pay) those retainers won’t wait around. They’ll just move on to someone else. And I know how difficult it is to start from scratch because that’s exactly what I had to do when I started my own gig. At the same time (and here’s when I went on a guilt trip), I simply wanted to be a good mum. So, I didn’t accept new work and tried to balance everything out, with Chloe taking top priority.

“But how are you managing to work as a self-employed with two kids?”

At the time, I had no idea how I was managing. But somehow, I did. Willpower? Maybe. Any help I could get from family members? Definitely. I worked at odd hours. Whenever the baby slept, I couldn’t just sleep as everyone tells you to (and I do mean everyone). I needed to get shit done and seeing that I don’t have any magical abilities (yet), something had to give.

My BIGGEST mistake 😱

That was one of the biggest mistakes I made. The lack of sleep killed me and eventually caught up with me. Running on four hours of sleep, day after day, is exhausting and unfortunately led to a really bad burnout. SO – lesson learned – but at the time, I couldn’t see a way out. Saying all this, my hubby and I do balance our chores, family duties and everything in between because that is how we roll. And, my mum is a godsend and I’m not sure how I would have coped without her. But now, looking back, I can kind of see what worked and what didn’t.

The oops list (no, I didn’t get it all right).

  1. Trying to do everything at once.
  2. Trying to please everyone.
  3. Multitasking.
  4. Throwing self-care out the window.
  5. Ignoring signs of burnout until it’s too late.
  6. And, getting to that point.

What helped.

  1. Accepting that I cannot do everything all at once.
  2. Instead of finding the perfect ‘block time’, I worked in 30-minute/1 hour bursts (not ideal but it worked for a while).
  3. ‘Batching’ similar work, like filming content, to save mental energy (and time).
  4. Creating a very loose schedule and a daily DOABLE to-do list.
  5. Clear and honest communication about timelines with my clients. Building a good relationship with people you’re working with always helps.
  6. Resting, doing things I love, going for coffees, alone and guilt-free. Which is much more difficult than you’d think, but necessary.

Ideals I had to just let go of.

  • Quiet, uninterrupted work time.
  • Pretending I can do it all alone.
  • Comparing to others.
  • Sticking to a rigid schedule.
  • Responding immediately.

I learned to prioritise better. And I learned that rest and sleep are just as important and without them, I couldn’t concentrate anyway. I scheduled my time however I could so that when the baby wasn’t clinging to me, I worked my ass off – in bursts. What I spent hours on before, I got done in half that time.

There is no manual.

Mind you, as I’m writing all this, I’m trying to answer weird and random fire questions by my now 6-year- old while calming the little one down because all she wants to do is sit on my lap all day. But with both of them at school in the mornings, I found my rhythm again. And yes, I do start with a coffee at my local coffee shop because that is the little me-time I have and – to be honest with you, it fuels me and I feel my best again, on a personal & professional level.

Wow, I have managed to write this down. Weeks in the making because, well, kids. But I’m trying not to be too hard on myself and I’m happy to see this as a win, which it kind of is.

Speak soon
Amanda x

↠ MORE ON THIS! I’m sharing my self-employed journey on Instagram and show what I find most helpful over there. Feel free to follow for tips & updates!

Reality of Working from Home as a Self-Employed Mum | Tips & Challenges

WHAT TO EXPECT | This blog is about the reality of working from home as a self-employed mum with little kids. No sugar coating!

I wrote about my expectations of handling work with a young one and a baby on the way. And now that I have delivered said baby, I can share how it’s really going so far. With one kid, it’s something. With two, it’s something else.

So work from home has become somewhat of a buzzword after 2020, right? And although some businesses are bringing everyone back to the office, other companies have embraced remote working and made it part of their strategy. And then there’s self-employment, a different world entirely.

But in both cases, the boundary between work and personal life can blur when you work from home. In my case, it’s almost inevitable – and not something I am particularly happy about because finding the right balance and FLOW is everything for my peace of mind. When I start working and stop in the middle of something, start and stop again – all morning and into the afternoon – it doesn’t get me anywhere. So first thing in the morning, or late at night, I write a doable list of priority items for the day ahead. It helps break work into manageable and attainable ‘smaller pieces’ which I can tackle throughout the day and try my best to stick to.

How can you work from home with less hiccups? (Because let’s face it, you can’t dodge them all).

I love a good, organised schedule and designated work space. Having my little corner office to work from helps me focus on the tasks. It’s like having a ‘home-free’ work area that gets me in the zone with fewer distractions (or so I hope every time I sit at my desk). To FOCUS. Lately, this has been quite a challenge with a baby. Even as I write this, I am sitting on my unmade bed after managing to get little Chloe to sleep in her crib – so the irony is not lost on me. I don’t like having my laptop in the bedroom but these days require that I do if I want to get some work done. And a schedule? With two kids, I try – honestly, I do – but my schedule is to work around naps, feeds, and playtime. Most days I’m in the right mind zone, I’m motivated to do the work, inspired even – BUT not able to actually and productively get things done -which is super frustrating. And that is the reality of it. On good days, I work through the whole list whilst mummying, on other days – I barely manage to send out one simple email.

Multi-tasking – the best thing you can do is to avoid it. You might feel like accomplishing a lot but I have learned that single-tasking is a much healthier option because you do get things done, one after the other – without a headache and scattered thoughts. Even if it’s not the easiest thing to do, when you work from home, start by blocking some major time-wasters out – namely your phone and social media accounts. Push back any household chores (that laundry basket begging to be emptied, a speck of dust that has been nagging you or a quick trip to the store) and anything that comes in between you and your paid work.

I’m not saying you don’t schedule them in your day. But that’s just it – schedule and organise your work day first and then work around it. For instance, you can work all morning, take a break, do the laundry, and get back at your desk later (if the nature of your work permits it).

One major thing. Do not put too much pressure on yourself. Remember, you are doing the best you can, what is humanly possible – and you should be so proud of yourself. Every accomplishment – no matter how small – should be celebrated.

Tips to make working from home with kids productive.

Now, if you’re a parent (of small kids especially), you know all too well that parenthood is a full-time job and then some. The early years are the toughest because the kids cling to you every waking second. It’s a beautiful thing having little people running around the house and looking up to you. But to have a household to run, we ordinary people need to make a living. And if you work from home that means you need to find a way to take care of the kids and work at the same time. Which is, let me tell you, such a challenge. My 5-year-old has become a lot more independent lately. She’s thankfully easily entertained with drawing, painting, and making crafts. Before Chloe, I tried scheduling in a couple of hours before the world (and Bethany) woke up. But this is close to impossible in the newborn phase (at least in my case). Instead, I squeeze the life out of every minute of sleep I can get to be able to function properly. Parents of babies know all to well well that sleep is too little and never enough.

I’m self-employed, and have a five-year-old and a five-month baby. So here are a couple of things that help me get through the day without going haywire:

  • Accept help in any form – it can come in the form of meals, babysitting, household chores or grocery shopping.
  • Set realistic goals – know your limit, learn to say no, and set achievable goals for each day.
  • Outsource work –when you can: delegate tasks you can outsource because this frees up your time.
  • Good communication – with your partner: this is key.
  • Childcare services – are always an option: even a few hours of childcare support can make a significant difference – and try not to feel guilty about it.
  • Create a schedule – create a priority list for each day and block time for work to avoid feeling overwhelmed by your workload.
  • Practice self-care – we are not superhuman and burning out is real. So make time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies that help you relax and recharge.

Like everything else in life, self-employment comes with its set of challenges. Having no maternity leave was the hardest honestly. Not being able to stop working and fully enjoying the little ones for the first few months was tough. So if you’re thinking about venturing out on your own, you need to look beyond flexibility.

The ability to work from home offers unique opportunities and challenges. On one hand, you’re flexible to set your own schedule and be present for your children’s important moments. On the other hand, finding the time and energy to grow your business while caring for your family can sometimes feel overwhelming. And I get it. My partner (who works full-time at an office) and I are still figuring out the best way to go about work, household chores and raising two kids. So even as I write this, I’m certain that things will change yet again in a month’s time.

Are you a WFH parent? Do you run your own business? How do YOU manage the time? What are some tips you can share with us? I’d love to hear from you!

Until next time
Amanda x

↠ MORE ON THIS! I’m sharing my self-employed journey on Instagram and show what I find most helpful over there. Feel free to follow for tips & updates!

Why I keep photos of my toddler off social media

If you scroll through my Instagram feed or skim through my stories, you will occasionally see my little bee. But never her face.

Before reading this post, know this. This is my personal opinion, and for the record, everyone can do whatever they like. To each, their own. It’s not the first time that I liked a picture a friend of mine shared of her kids.

And as a mum, I know how it feels. My fingers itch to share a story of my toddler and show her insanely cute moments to the world. Her first smile, her first step, her continuous blabbering while we play.

But that’s just it. I don’t want the world to have access to her photos and videos. Her face. Once publicly online, they’re there forever even if you delete them. I have no way of knowing who saved her pictures on their devices.

I pondered on this throughout most of my pregnancy. On the one hand, I wanted to share happy pictures of our little family. On the other, my paranoid side kept kicking in. What if a stranger sees them? How would I feel if her pictures and videos had to fall into the wrong hands? Do I want that nagging feeling of doubt? No, I didn’t.

Unfortunately, it happens. Images, sometimes even retouched, resurface on the Internet. I revolt at the thought alone. But how can you know where the picture of your child is?

I’m quite a private person, so not sharing her pictures didn’t feel like anything out of the norm for me personally. Instead, I got creative. I include her in pictures, always fully clothed and her face never shows. The people closest to me, the ones who matter, see her in real life anyway 😋

She can start her own digital footprint when she comes of age. At least, I hope that when she’s a teenager, she’ll appreciate that I haven’t shared any ’embarrassing’ pictures of her 😅

Are there any parents out there who are on the same wavelength or is it just me?

Until next time
Amanda x

Featured image by https://www.instagram.com/kagrabowska/