Category: working parent

Self-employed mum of two: the truth about working from home with kids

WHAT TO EXPECT | Balancing business, kids, burnout, and everything in between. I’m sharing what’s helped me navigate motherhood & self-employment, mistakes I made, what helped me cope & what I had to let go of.

You know you’ve grown as a person when you’re watching your kids mixing playdough colours and it doesn’t trigger you anymore. Or at least not as much. Am I right? With time, you learn to accept the little wins and just let go of the rest.

So now that Chloe (17 months) has started childcare, we’re entering – yet again – a whole new routine. That is, whenever she isn’t home sick with something (which happens more often than you’d think). Just this week – BAM – Chloe’s sick and my whole schedule crumbled. It’s fine (I mean what else can I do?), I’m used to it by now. These little unpleasant surprises just keep me on my toes.

If you read my blogs you know that I’m going to keep this real. No sugarcoating because who has time for that anyways? So no, it hasn’t been rainbows and unicorns working from home with a baby and a 5-year-old. Keeping up with my current retainers, projects and workload with Chloe at home was anything but easy. I wasn’t accepting any new projects and turning down new retainers for months because I couldn’t.

Between naps & deadlines

Maternity leave? What even is that? I was at my desk right up until Chloe’s birth, waddling around with a belly so big I had to swivel sideways to reach my keyboard. I guess, you can say that that’s one of the biggest drawbacks of being self-employed. I once had someone telling me that I have it easy because being my own boss, I could just stop working whenever I wanted, do whatever I wanted. I laughed.

If I stop working (setting aside the whole breaching-contracts thing for a moment and the fact that I have bills to pay) those retainers won’t wait around. They’ll just move on to someone else. And I know how difficult it is to start from scratch because that’s exactly what I had to do when I started my own gig. At the same time (and here’s when I went on a guilt trip), I simply wanted to be a good mum. So, I didn’t accept new work and tried to balance everything out, with Chloe taking top priority.

“But how are you managing to work as a self-employed with two kids?”

At the time, I had no idea how I was managing. But somehow, I did. Willpower? Maybe. Any help I could get from family members? Definitely. I worked at odd hours. Whenever the baby slept, I couldn’t just sleep as everyone tells you to (and I do mean everyone). I needed to get shit done and seeing that I don’t have any magical abilities (yet), something had to give.

My BIGGEST mistake 😱

That was one of the biggest mistakes I made. The lack of sleep killed me and eventually caught up with me. Running on four hours of sleep, day after day, is exhausting and unfortunately led to a really bad burnout. SO – lesson learned – but at the time, I couldn’t see a way out. Saying all this, my hubby and I do balance our chores, family duties and everything in between because that is how we roll. And, my mum is a godsend and I’m not sure how I would have coped without her. But now, looking back, I can kind of see what worked and what didn’t.

The oops list (no, I didn’t get it all right).

  1. Trying to do everything at once.
  2. Trying to please everyone.
  3. Multitasking.
  4. Throwing self-care out the window.
  5. Ignoring signs of burnout until it’s too late.
  6. And, getting to that point.

What helped.

  1. Accepting that I cannot do everything all at once.
  2. Instead of finding the perfect ‘block time’, I worked in 30-minute/1 hour bursts (not ideal but it worked for a while).
  3. ‘Batching’ similar work, like filming content, to save mental energy (and time).
  4. Creating a very loose schedule and a daily DOABLE to-do list.
  5. Clear and honest communication about timelines with my clients. Building a good relationship with people you’re working with always helps.
  6. Resting, doing things I love, going for coffees, alone and guilt-free. Which is much more difficult than you’d think, but necessary.

Ideals I had to just let go of.

  • Quiet, uninterrupted work time.
  • Pretending I can do it all alone.
  • Comparing to others.
  • Sticking to a rigid schedule.
  • Responding immediately.

I learned to prioritise better. And I learned that rest and sleep are just as important and without them, I couldn’t concentrate anyway. I scheduled my time however I could so that when the baby wasn’t clinging to me, I worked my ass off – in bursts. What I spent hours on before, I got done in half that time.

There is no manual.

Mind you, as I’m writing all this, I’m trying to answer weird and random fire questions by my now 6-year- old while calming the little one down because all she wants to do is sit on my lap all day. But with both of them at school in the mornings, I found my rhythm again. And yes, I do start with a coffee at my local coffee shop because that is the little me-time I have and – to be honest with you, it fuels me and I feel my best again, on a personal & professional level.

Wow, I have managed to write this down. Weeks in the making because, well, kids. But I’m trying not to be too hard on myself and I’m happy to see this as a win, which it kind of is.

Speak soon
Amanda x

↠ MORE ON THIS! I’m sharing my self-employed journey on Instagram and show what I find most helpful over there. Feel free to follow for tips & updates!

Reality of Working from Home as a Self-Employed Mum | Tips & Challenges

WHAT TO EXPECT | This blog is about the reality of working from home as a self-employed mum with little kids. No sugar coating!

I wrote about my expectations of handling work with a young one and a baby on the way. And now that I have delivered said baby, I can share how it’s really going so far. With one kid, it’s something. With two, it’s something else.

So work from home has become somewhat of a buzzword after 2020, right? And although some businesses are bringing everyone back to the office, other companies have embraced remote working and made it part of their strategy. And then there’s self-employment, a different world entirely.

But in both cases, the boundary between work and personal life can blur when you work from home. In my case, it’s almost inevitable – and not something I am particularly happy about because finding the right balance and FLOW is everything for my peace of mind. When I start working and stop in the middle of something, start and stop again – all morning and into the afternoon – it doesn’t get me anywhere. So first thing in the morning, or late at night, I write a doable list of priority items for the day ahead. It helps break work into manageable and attainable ‘smaller pieces’ which I can tackle throughout the day and try my best to stick to.

How can you work from home with less hiccups? (Because let’s face it, you can’t dodge them all).

I love a good, organised schedule and designated work space. Having my little corner office to work from helps me focus on the tasks. It’s like having a ‘home-free’ work area that gets me in the zone with fewer distractions (or so I hope every time I sit at my desk). To FOCUS. Lately, this has been quite a challenge with a baby. Even as I write this, I am sitting on my unmade bed after managing to get little Chloe to sleep in her crib – so the irony is not lost on me. I don’t like having my laptop in the bedroom but these days require that I do if I want to get some work done. And a schedule? With two kids, I try – honestly, I do – but my schedule is to work around naps, feeds, and playtime. Most days I’m in the right mind zone, I’m motivated to do the work, inspired even – BUT not able to actually and productively get things done -which is super frustrating. And that is the reality of it. On good days, I work through the whole list whilst mummying, on other days – I barely manage to send out one simple email.

Multi-tasking – the best thing you can do is to avoid it. You might feel like accomplishing a lot but I have learned that single-tasking is a much healthier option because you do get things done, one after the other – without a headache and scattered thoughts. Even if it’s not the easiest thing to do, when you work from home, start by blocking some major time-wasters out – namely your phone and social media accounts. Push back any household chores (that laundry basket begging to be emptied, a speck of dust that has been nagging you or a quick trip to the store) and anything that comes in between you and your paid work.

I’m not saying you don’t schedule them in your day. But that’s just it – schedule and organise your work day first and then work around it. For instance, you can work all morning, take a break, do the laundry, and get back at your desk later (if the nature of your work permits it).

One major thing. Do not put too much pressure on yourself. Remember, you are doing the best you can, what is humanly possible – and you should be so proud of yourself. Every accomplishment – no matter how small – should be celebrated.

Tips to make working from home with kids productive.

Now, if you’re a parent (of small kids especially), you know all too well that parenthood is a full-time job and then some. The early years are the toughest because the kids cling to you every waking second. It’s a beautiful thing having little people running around the house and looking up to you. But to have a household to run, we ordinary people need to make a living. And if you work from home that means you need to find a way to take care of the kids and work at the same time. Which is, let me tell you, such a challenge. My 5-year-old has become a lot more independent lately. She’s thankfully easily entertained with drawing, painting, and making crafts. Before Chloe, I tried scheduling in a couple of hours before the world (and Bethany) woke up. But this is close to impossible in the newborn phase (at least in my case). Instead, I squeeze the life out of every minute of sleep I can get to be able to function properly. Parents of babies know all to well well that sleep is too little and never enough.

I’m self-employed, and have a five-year-old and a five-month baby. So here are a couple of things that help me get through the day without going haywire:

  • Accept help in any form – it can come in the form of meals, babysitting, household chores or grocery shopping.
  • Set realistic goals – know your limit, learn to say no, and set achievable goals for each day.
  • Outsource work –when you can: delegate tasks you can outsource because this frees up your time.
  • Good communication – with your partner: this is key.
  • Childcare services – are always an option: even a few hours of childcare support can make a significant difference – and try not to feel guilty about it.
  • Create a schedule – create a priority list for each day and block time for work to avoid feeling overwhelmed by your workload.
  • Practice self-care – we are not superhuman and burning out is real. So make time for self-care activities like exercise, meditation, or hobbies that help you relax and recharge.

Like everything else in life, self-employment comes with its set of challenges. Having no maternity leave was the hardest honestly. Not being able to stop working and fully enjoying the little ones for the first few months was tough. So if you’re thinking about venturing out on your own, you need to look beyond flexibility.

The ability to work from home offers unique opportunities and challenges. On one hand, you’re flexible to set your own schedule and be present for your children’s important moments. On the other hand, finding the time and energy to grow your business while caring for your family can sometimes feel overwhelming. And I get it. My partner (who works full-time at an office) and I are still figuring out the best way to go about work, household chores and raising two kids. So even as I write this, I’m certain that things will change yet again in a month’s time.

Are you a WFH parent? Do you run your own business? How do YOU manage the time? What are some tips you can share with us? I’d love to hear from you!

Until next time
Amanda x

↠ MORE ON THIS! I’m sharing my self-employed journey on Instagram and show what I find most helpful over there. Feel free to follow for tips & updates!

Raising kids, building a business.

A guide to (try &) master work-from-home success

WHAT TO EXPECT | If you’re self-employed, a freelancer, a small business owner, and a parent who works (mostly) from home, this guide will help you navigate work and family life.

“How will you manage with two kids?” I wish I had a euro for every time someone asked me that – I wouldn’t have to work another day in my life! I swear, once the other person spots my growing belly (which is hard to miss at this stage really), and knows that I’m a self-employed working mum, it’s the first thing that pops out – after the obligatory congratulations. I have already written about juggling WFH and motherhood earlier this year – let’s go through a couple more things I learned along the way.

So, yes. How will I manage work and two kids? When I started back in 2017 with just Nina my dog following me around, I thought it was hard. Which mind you, it was – starting my business from scratch was anything but easy. But then again, it’s what makes all the hard work worthwhile and I wouldn’t change a single thing.

But then, two years later, little Bethany dropped into our world and things changed. Completely. If you run your own small business, you probably know how difficult it is to even take a day off. The minute my water broke, I remember sitting back down (after a quick shower and whatsapping my husband that it was finally happening) to tie loose ends, message clients, and make sure everything was in order before I left for the hospital. After that, it was quite the challenge to reschedule my work around her sleeping and feeding times when I was running on 3-hour naps (I remember the sleepless nights all too well). But with the great help of my family, and the below tips I pulled through. That’s why I created this little guide.

Having a second child changes things yet again. So, back to the writing board.

1. Create a productive work environment

The first few months are tough – so let’s be realistic. Setting clear boundaries to work towards a more structured routine can be nearly impossible sometimes. One thing that will help you focus on the task at hand is to have a dedicated work area where you can mentally separate work from home, free from distractions. Again, it will take time to adjust and you will end up working on your laptop while feeding or cradling the baby. Distractions are everywhere with kids in the same building. But do create your space and work from there when you can.

2. Set realistic goals and expectations

Focus on what’s important and prioritize tasks based on deadlines and importance: both for work and home. It’s better to have a manageable to-do list with fewer tasks and get them all out of the way than to create an unachievable list that goes on forever. Allocating your time (and energy) wisely is key to feeling a sense of accomplishment and avoiding feeling overwhelmed.

3. Outsource and delegate tasks to maximise productivity

At a certain point, I realised that I couldn’t do it alone. I accepted that I need help to focus on the things that I excel in and delegate other tasks (e.g. admin, accounts) to a trusted person. The same goes for housework chores and childcare. It’s impossible (and ultimately, shouldn’t be the case) to take everything upon yourself. Delegating certain tasks will free up your time and reduce the stress of trying to do everything yourself.

4. Embrace flexibility

If you’re self-employed or work freelance, you do not have a boss, and your work schedule is more flexible. But you do have clients/customers and you do have deadlines. So unlike what some people think, it’s not all unicorns and rainbows. But what you can do is embrace that flexibility and learn to work it in your favour. If you run your own business you already know that sometimes, you have to skip weekends and also, work weird ungodly hours to get things done. Being a working parent, you also need to work early mornings, during naptimes, or at night – and adjust your work and home life as you go along.

But also, don’t push it. I know how it feels when someone tells you to rest when the baby sleeps. When will the work get done then? At the same time it’s important to try and find a balance – burning out is the last thing your body and mind need.

How to overcome common obstacles & stay motivated

Your coffee will get cold. That, I promise. And you will forget about your mid-day snack or lunch – or both, every once in a while. But never forget about taking care of yourself. That is non-negotiable and essential to maintain the focus and energy you need as a parent and for your career. So yes, if you have the chance to head out on your own and grab a coffee – do it. Get out of the house, change scenery, and do something you love. Read, draw, go for a run, meditate – whatever helps you relax and recharge.

So back to the question, “How will you manage?” I usually reply with: “Somehow, I will.” And so will you. Being your own boss and being a parent are both learning curves. I’m sure you’re doing an incredible job so be kind to yourself.

Let’s recap:

  1. Always accept help (from trusted people)
  2. Learn to prioritize and delegate
  3. Take real breaks (taking a shower DOES NOT COUNT)
  4. Don’t be too hard on yourself

↠ MORE ON THIS! I’m sharing my self-employed journey on Instagram and will be showing what I find most helpful over there. Feel free to follow for tips & updates!

Thinking of taking the leap? Let’s get you started! Here are 5 things I wish someone told me before becoming self-employed!

Until next time
Amanda x

Working from home with kids: how to make it work.

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Tips & tricks that will help you stay sane ↴

Working from home with kids presents a new set of challenges. Making it work is a struggle and an art. I’ve been self-employed since 2017 and became a mum two years later. So I’ve been juggling WFH and motherhood for four years now. Most of you may have first experienced this during the pandemic. I remember, during the first few months of isolation, people asked me how I manage not to lose my marbles at the end of the day. Honestly, most of the time, I have no idea how I don’t.

Even as I’m trying to write this, I stopped like a million times. My almost-four-year-old is asking me to play with her, nudging me, and doing everything in her power to grab my attention. I feel terribly guilty for having to work when she’s at home. And the only chance I have to create my content, work on my personal projects, and actually do something for myself (sometimes even something as basic as washing my hair) – is in the evening when she’s at home.

This brings us to the million-dollar question I’ve been asked at least a thousand times.

▶ “But how do you manage?”

Mind you, on some days I don’t manage to be productive. At all. But most things I learned through experience and some take a while getting used to but if you put your mind to it, you’ll get there eventually. I’m sharing five (5) tried & tested tips that help me get through my working day at home with my child.

1. Workspace

Having a designated area for work helps set a boundary between home life and work itself. It doesn’t have to be a full-blown office if you don’t have the space for it (like in my case). A desk setup and shelving should be just about enough to get you off working from your couch or dining table.

2. Schedule & prioritize

The demands of both work and family life are trying. Having a routine helps but we all know how that blows to pieces when one of the kids sneezes. Didn’t mean for that to rhyme, but there you have it. You need to be flexible and manage your expectations when you have kids around. Schedule your work when the kids are occupied: at school, during home activities or during nap time.

So I’m the most productive in the mornings when Bethany is at school and then I’ll work around entertaining her when she comes back home in the afternoon. First thing in the morning, I make a list. A simple, pen-to-paper list, starting with top priority, time-bound work including tasks that require 100% focus, meetings, and calls. So that once I have Beth at home, I manage tasks a little down that list.

3. Set achievable goals

This should be highlighted, bold, and underlined. It’s better to keep that list short and have 6 doable tasks than jot down 20 tasks that you cannot, for the life of you, get through. It’s frustrating and overwhelming. I’ve been through that too many times to count before it finally sank in. And NEVER ever multitask. That is just the worst. You’ll feel more stressed, and unable to concentrate and it will set you back tenfold.

4. Learn to say NO.

This is a learning curve. It’s easier said than done and I’ve learned this the hard way. But it’s better to know your limit than be in over your head. Otherwise, you’ll burn out faster than the fireworks on the fourth of July (or if you’re Maltese, on Santa Marija). If a task is not a priority, focus on what is truly important during your allocated work time.

There are times during the early years of self-employment when you cannot afford to say no to some projects. You’re just starting out and need both experience and cash flow. I’ve been there, I get it. Years later though, once you’ve found your niche, your market, do not be scared to decline work when: 1. you have too much on your plate 2. requests do not align with your priorities.

5. Take breaks

If you have a time when you’re without your kids, take a break. Don’t power through the day without stopping to take a breath. You need that time to refocus. When you’re with your kids, plan activities for them. Kids will not sit through one activity for long. I found that preparing activities beforehand helps: with puzzles, drawing, painting, and role-playing. Going to the park/play areas after school is another way to take a mental break and spend some good quality time together (and get them to exercise with the hope of a short nap later).

Listen, when I have a deadline, I’m going to be the first to admit that Disney+ saves me every time. You’re not a bad parent for including a little more screen time when you find yourself backed against a wall. Which brings me to working through distractions – it’s an acquired skill. When you have no option but to work through ‘Let it go’ on a loop, you’ll see what I mean. I usually stay close to Bethany to have eyes on her and put on my headphones. There will be nudges, there will be requests for snacks and whatnot but it’s doable.

✨ Be kind to yourself.

You’re doing the best you can. Sometimes even more so don’t be too hard on yourself if you didn’t manage to go through your work list or had to increase a little screen time to complete a task. I’m also aware that it depends on the type of job that you have, the kind of employer and clients. Little by little, we’re getting to a place where people understand what it means to have work responsibilities and the demands of parenting.

My advice to you? Take care of yourself and don’t ever forget that. During my cabin crew years and every time I get on a plane, there is that one phrase that you may take for granted but I cannot get out of my head: “Put on your mask first before helping others.” I apply it to my everyday life. If I burn out, if I fail to take care of myself, how can I care for others? My family? My clients? And accept help when you need it.

Until next time,

Amanda x

↠ MORE ON THIS! I’m sharing my self-employed journey on Instagram and will be showing what I find most helpful over there. Feel free to follow for tips & updates!